Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
