Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I am midnight drunk by noon
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
