who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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