3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
