just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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