I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
