she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We had sex on a dog bed..
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
