Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
