She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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