He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
