remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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