FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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