did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
