I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
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