i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize