My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
