You're so nebulous sometimes
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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