is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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