Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
