Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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