so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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