I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
