Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
