am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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