After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
