He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize