that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
