Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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