I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
