My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
