i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
