i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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