So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
