Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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