brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
