seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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