you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Randomize
