I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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