I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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