Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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