After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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