so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
