You can't special order awesome
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
