I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
