SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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