remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
