You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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