I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just had sex on a roof
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