My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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