I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
