Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
