left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
