he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize