billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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