he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
