I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
