nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My bed smells like the plague
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