How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
