he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize